screamfree | Peace Begins with Pause

“Not all who wander are lost.”
(J.R.R. Tolkien)
I drove my daughter’s car yesterday, taking it to the auto parts store to get something fixed. Of course, I had to adjust the seat, the side mirrors, and for God’s sake, the radio. The biggest adjustment, however, was the rear view mirror. Like many...

“Just because we don’t see eye-to-eye doesn’t mean we can’t be close.”
(Sarah Dessen)
Yesterday we talked about our somewhat strange advice to rarely look your children in the eye. The power differential between a parent and child is so pronounced that, if we ever want them to open up and share their struggles, we need to restrain from...

Among all the pieces of parenting advice I’ve ever given, the one that raises the most eyebrows (ahem) is this:
Rarely look your children eye-to-eye.
Yes, there are times both necessarily serious, or beautifully emotional, to connect with your respective “windows of the soul.” But keep those times rare. Why? Because looking someone in the eye is a very intimate gesture between equals, but it’s a very...

“Many people die at 25, but aren’t buried until they’re 75.”
(Ben Franklin)
It’s graduation season for many of our sons & daughters, which means it’s reflection season for their parents. See, one of the remarkable things that happen as our kids become teens, and our teens become adults, is our own self-investigation. We...