The Idea Girl

I am okay.
Really.  I am okay.  I am no longer worried about falling off the edge.  I am okay.
Thank you all for reading what I wrote.  It is never fun to read the thoughts of a depressed person, and I thank you.  I cannot tell you how comforting your comments were.  Sometimes, the best support can come from strangers....

Wow, this is so much better.
It's still not great - I'm not back to "normal" - but it's better.
I think it was the combination of taking him off my buddy list (and not talking to him for a whole week) and going to see my friends in the city last weekend.  We had a reunion weekend of sorts, and it was just spectacular and magical to be surrounded...

I deleted him from my buddy list.
I had another breakdown today.  He was online.  I don't have anyone else to talk to about this shit.  I'm too embarrassed to talk to anyone else.  Also, no one else is that invested in me to really care.
It started out ok, but then his "help" started to feel hostile, and before I knew it, he was telling me how I treat him like shit.  Saying that I was using him because I said I didn't want to be friends, and then turned to him for help when I needed...

My "therapist" stood me up today.
I guess it's my own fault.  I wrote on the intake form that she shouldn't call my phone number, and instead should contact me through email.  Except I can't check my email at work, and the appointment was directly after work, so I never got the message...