This Rocketship Will Crash

“Why did you say Christmas? Now I can’t stop thinking about Christmas.”“Listen, you can use whatever memory you want as your passkey, okay?  But you have to calibrate the system first if you want to check out. You can change it later at home.” “But why...

NOTE: read more junk at http://www.miraclejones.com “Hey, can I borrow twenty dollars so I can buy a bar of soap and a bag of rice and eighteen cans of beans?” I ask my roommate.“I don’t have any cash,” she says, shivering, staring at the wall with doom...

We Have All Been Hurt by Television ActorsI was looking forward to my last day of working at Fried Beer for two reasons: 1). it was my last day of working at Fried Beer and 2). my coworker Laurie had promised to tell me her “sad Tom Arnold scat sex story...

Fear Boys With DollsI didn’t want to go alone, so I convinced my fiancée Becca to come with me to Andy’s place to see his sex doll collection. I promised Becca we would only stay for an hour or so. She said Andy made her more uncomfortable than anyone...