Kolbjorn's Journey

When Kolbjorn was born, the first thing I really noticed was his face. Before the chord was cut, before he was passed to me to hold, seconds after his first breath, I saw his blond hair, and then his face. One of my first thoughts was how masculine this...

Mari posted this to Facebook and Instagram tonight, and with her permission we're sharing it here:
It’s now been eight years without my brother. The grief feels both very old and shockingly new. It is as much a part of my day as brushing my teeth or cooking a meal: constant but also constantly renewed....

I'm trying to wrap my head around some contradictory numbers.
Today we celebrated Kol's 17th birthday, and today Kol is still 9 years 7 months and 24 days old, the same age he's been for the past 7 years 4 months and 6 days.
In a little less than two weeks, Kol's baby sister, who is 7 years 4 months and 16 days younger than him, will turn 9 years 7 months and 25 days old, and become older than her big brother....

"They" say that the first year after a death is the hardest for those left behind. "They" are wrong. Kolbjorn died 7 years ago. These last 7 years have been hard. All of them.
After a funeral, or even sometimes during a funeral, we hear that the "firsts" will be hard. The first birthday. The first Christmas. The first anniversary of the loved one's death. Then it will be easier. I believed this, too. Until my son died. I read...