The Heckler's Prospectus

There you have it, folks. How to heckle just about every player in the major leagues. Feel free to use this guide throughout the year. If you want to print it out and take it to the ballpark, hey look, there's a downloadable PDF to your right there....

Abreu, Bobby - In 2006, Abreu was traded to the Yankees along with Phillies pitcher Cory Lidle, who died a few months later after flying into a residential building in New York. Use convulted logic to place the blame for Lidle's death on Abreu.
Cabrera, Melky - Tell him you're starting your own version of the "Got Milk?" campaign, which explains the white moustache you're currently sporting. However, since you were unable to find the bone-strengthening beverage you've had to settle for something...

Anderson, Brian – Tell Anderson that he’s earned his initials of “BA”. However, in this case, they don’t stand for “Bad Ass” but for “Bad At-the-plate”.
Buehrle, Mark – Known for being one of the quickest pitchers in all of baseball, taking less time between pitches than any of his counterparts, let him know that speed is not always a virtue, such as when you’re having sexual intercourse with his mother...

Baker, Scott – Hold a sign with the date August 31st, 2007 on it, the date when Baker took a perfect game into the 9th inning, but walked the first batter he faced to end the perfect game and then gave up a hit to spoil the no-hitter. It will be a reminder...