Gloss and Dirt

Hi. Remember me? I'm drunk. (I KNOW, J'SUPRISE.) Okay, I'm not DRUNK drunk, just like 4/7s drunk. I had two glasses of wine, and felt inspired to do something. Like Lindsay Lohan trying out a new accent. So here I am, spreading my horrible beauty opinions...

As I sit here typing this, I am disappointed in myself on so many levels.
I'm sad that I didn't even want to watch this movie, with my well-documented love of the original. I feel shame that I didn't want to support Tori Spelling in her time of need -- like I'm letting down generations of Spellings....

Being on a makeup budget can be a real rude bitch.
I will eat some Top Ramen like a Mike Tyson-level champ, but I refuse to walk around with brows that are less than bangin'. In a perfect world, I'd be swimming in women and Brow Wiz pencils, but that's just fiscally irresponsible for my low-rent lifestyle...

Everyone is losing their GD collective minds today on Instagram.
Apparently, one of the best apps to spy on c-list celebrity vacations is changing its algorithm tomorrow, showing whatever the shit it thinks will be most important to you first, instead of chronological postings. Or something. I can't really be bothered...