adopting through foster care

So I just saw the comment on an old entry asking if anyone was still around to update.
Unbelievably, our little guy is four now.
He's doing great.

The Golden Rule of foster care is: Never Assume.
We haven't seen Niblet in over 2 years. Last we heard, she was living with family members who we had met and liked. The assumption was that they would end up adopting her and that would be that.
I ran into Niblet's birthfather today as I was on my way home from work. I was very friendly, he was very friendly, like two old friends. When, really, I'd like to rip his head off just for the things I *know* about that he's done or allowed to be done...

Responses keep coming in. It's interesting to know that this is floating around out there on the internet still, from over a year ago when I first posted it.
There's no one clear answer (shocking, right) but there's some interesting tidbits to report, as I approach 100 respondents....

The first Mother's Day that we had Squeak, we had Niblet visiting with us, as well. The 4 of us galavanted around town and had a great time. It's a time I think about when I imagine what it would have been like if she'd come back to us.
Niblet's 4th birthday was recently. I can't imagine what she must be like now. I hope she's talking up a storm. We never really heard her talk. She had a few words by the time she left us at 18 months old, and a couple more a year later, but we never...