Cold Steel Rain

Thanks for all the kind words. I'd like to shut the blog with this...
Come home safe Lads... CSR

An irony in the title that isn't lost on me.
I won't be blogging or Tweeting as CSR anymore... I'll continue writing - I've got a book inside my head I think some folk might like to read.
I need to spend more than my money fighting to see my Son, I need to spend my time. Every last spare minute of it. I've enjoyed writing this blog, although it has at times been painful....

The killing stopped 10 years ago. I am stood in a shabby office, a kid in a suit speaks with me. 'You've filled the forms out wrong mate' He is maybe 19 - I see yellow and brown suits, flashes in the night sky. 'We can't pay you anything'
I walk away from the Dole office with no money. I haven't eaten for four days. Mum gives me 30 quid for food. So I take it to a bar and order a Pint and a Chaser. Biting down hard as my empty stomach objects to the Whisky I pour into it. The bile stings...

Anyone who's read this blog will know I've been to war. I carried a rifle for my Country - I took part in a brutality I struggle to articulate. I watched mates get hurt. A friend of mine paid for the conflict with his life.
The war left me with PTSD. I don't sleep well, have bad dreams dwell on bad things. I signed on the line - I took the shilling, so I don't want sympathy, compensation or chocolate biscuits. What I do want is Parental Responsibility over my Son....