Backyard Missionary | unrefined theological musings, random personal r...

Oh I am sad today.
Just sad that my son, Sam, is gone – I have been pondering permanence and finality and it just seems that the sheer unfixable nature of this one event has re-made our entire world and I feel somewhat adrift in it. None of us really have our bearings...

1.00pm the bell tolls
the final call is made
by your empty lungs

I left the blinds open last night and woke to a beautiful sunrise – dusky colours over the ocean, but alongside the beauty of the new day was the dread of what this day holds.
We have had 2 weeks now to get used to the idea that Sam is dead, but I feel like it hasn’t really sunk in. And words often feel inadequate to express what is inexpressible. So maybe tears are all we have…...

Oh my son my son! If only I could have died in your place.
I literally read these words in the Bible just over a week ago as David wept for his son Absalom (and the kid was a complete jerk). I remember feeling his anguish even then. Today I feel his pain a thousand times over, for a son who was everything a...