Turnipism

Well, it's been fun.
As this eighth year of Turnipism comes to a close I've decided to shut this mother down. Okay, ... I'm not angrily slamming the doors and deleting the whole shebang. It's more like I'm setting the blog free into the wild and driving off in my sweet limited...

It's difficult and shocking for the world to lose someone as talented and amazing as Robin Williams. It's even more shocking to lose him in this manner. For my entire life he been an icon of comedy and boundless enthusiasm. It's just so hard to reconcile...

On my way to work I often will pick up my morning coffee at Tim Hortons, as is required of all Canadians by law. Because my commute is long and unpredictable I will sometimes be pressed for time when I get in the lineup.
Invariably when the clock is ticking, the people in front of me are ordering huge quantities of food and drink. When they break out a list of items and begin ordering for 900 people at J.Q. Dumptruck and Sons, I want to begin punching everyone....

Breaking news, people. Put down the ice cream and pay attention. I hope you're sitting down, or at least leaning against something sturdy. Yes, the refrigerator will do. Again, please put down the ice cream. Okay... Justin Bieber has been arrested.
Okay, calm down, calm down. He's already been released on bail, but that doesn't change the fact that he was arrested for a DUI and it's probably because he's a cocky, reckless shithead. I'm upset too. I'm happy when a Canadian achieves worldwide success...