4 in the hand is better than... wait, what the?

Yea... to kick off my month of no social media I colored my hair. In the words of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman- "Big mistake. Big." Thank goodness I have only a few pictures to remember this by.
Here we are, on the eve before I make my return to social media after a month long hiatus. As I sit here reflecting on what my break from social media has done for me over the last month, I would love to be able to tell you that I had a spiritual awakening...

I hardly recognize the girl in this picture. Sure, it looks like me... pretty much. I was 8 months pregnant then. It was only 3 years ago... But there is a light in my eyes that I just can no longer see when I look in the mirror.
This photo was taken just 2 weeks before my mother died unexpectedly. I was in another place- and it's a place I have resigned myself to the sad fact- that I will never get back to....

2 years... 2 years. In so many ways it feels like it was just yesterday and in so many ways it feels like it happened 20 years ago. So much life has happened since her passing.
It's not fair.
I wrote a blog post last year at the one year mark, I just re-read it this morning and boy was I angry. I don't feel that same depth of anger this year....

I just want to take a few moments and talk about {nearly} 3 year olds...
What.The.Actual.F@#K?
Each day with her is like Russian roulette... What are we going to get today... A delightful, happy-go-lucky, sweet, kind and loving cherubic angel? Or is this 'Chuckie' today? Total crapshoot... But we can usually tell from the first exchange when getting...