Illusion Travels By Streetcar

Today we present, for your edification, the inauguration of a new podcast, wherein Joseph Garza Medina and Tom Sutpen set themselves to the task of explaining the medium of motion pictures to a bewildered public,
This is Episode #1.

Dear Young Cinephile,
Go on the needle. It will get you to where you're going much faster, and the moments of despair will be fewer and farther between.
Go thou and sin no more, you luckless so-and-so. Oblivion awaits.

I like movies that have nothing for everyone.

What follows is a series of excerpts from what I freely confess is a still-unfinished article on Billy Wilder's Kiss Me Stupid. That's right. Excerpts. This is not the final result; it's barely even close to a workable draft.
When I started this piece it was supposed to be a relatively straightforward retrospective review; one that ultimately sought to explore no more than this film in the context of Wilder's own, oft-repeated admiration for the work of Ernst Lubitsch. As...