doktorhander

Even Mr. T's 1982 custom AMC shrinks with embarrassment when The Super Van rolls up.  This baby is a shaggin' wagon powered by the sun!
Unlike your typical '70s van, this isn't just your average bed on wheels. This baby has a TV, tape deck, and "lighting effects" (I wonder what 8-track is in that tape deck.... my money's on Foghat). I'd give anything for just five minutes in that Captain...

...a young boy is in the hospital recovering from a rattlesnake bite that took 40 vials of antivenom to counteract.
Judging from the description of the snake it was probably an Eastern Diamondback, and if it was a 6-footer (probably not, people always overestimate the length of snakes in a snakebite incident) it would have been capable of injecting huge amounts of...

...it would probably be about this size.
.75 Chinese Fortress Rifle.
Yes, you read that right. .75 caliber.That's bigger than the Ma Deuce, bigger than the .600 Nitro Express. It's three quarters of an inch. I don't know if you could shoot the thing unsupported. Recoil? I wince just thinking about it....

He picked the wrong grocery store to rob, because the clerk had a gun of her own.
A clerk at a Kannapolis grocery store turned the tables on a thief.
Police say John Davidson III tried to rob Bethpage Grocery on Mooresville Road at gunpoint Tuesday night, but the clerk got out her own gun and shot at Davidson....